- With sincere apologies to cjc, I present to you another philosophical rant blog.
Here I use a sarcastic self-deprecation that also accurately predicts what the reader is thinking: "Aw, carp, another one?!"
Before I begin, I bemoan the fact that the reader will impulsively comment and disagree with me in a somewhat cynical and sarcastic way.
Part I: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik
Dun, dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dun, dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Dut dun, dit dit dit da-yit dun, dit dit dit da-yit dun, dit dit dit da-yit dun, dit dit dit dit dit dadadada dit dit dadadada dit dit dadadada dun.
Here, I use somewhat dark and forebodingly vague English to set the mood. I throw in exaggerated references to recent disputes over incredibly trivial subjects, and sardonically ridicule the ideological nature of the disputes. Then, the mood then descends into a somewhat frustrated and rantlike tone, only to be interrupted by more song lyrics.
Duuuuuun, duh-dun, duh-dun, dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada doo. (Da da da doo.) Dah dah dah dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada bah bum, bum. - Mozart
Here I lose the tone, and begin to sound more relaxed. I state the problem clearly, but suddenly I jump into the next section before the dust settles.
Part II: Monday
Monday, Monday, gotta get up on Monday...
- Rebecca Black
Part III: Hotel California
Here I say something deep and philosophical. Just as the reader thinks I'm going somewhere, I interrupt by posting a link to a YouTube video of a song I like. I decorate it with more self-deprecation regarding my use of song lyrics.
(In parentheses, I complain that the reader probably didn't click on the above link.)
Here, I restate a few painfully obvious facts for sake of emphasis. I then bash the blog-addicted newcomers, and delve into a somewhat rantlike complaint regarding recent editing, and poke fun at the general direction the activity is heading. I then ask the reader to go to site X if they want to do Y. The irony lies in the fact that this is a blog as well.
- "Here I include a quote that has indirect relevance to the topic at hand."
- —Yours truly
I now bash the experienced editors, and complain how they chat away on the forums and never edit the mainspace. I reference a couple recent disputes, like in Part I, and tell everyone to get back to editing. I continue to pepper my speech with exaggerated references to recent disputes.
Here, I restate the introduction with different wording. I continue to mock stereotypical behavior patterns of certain commenters, and state that they fall into at least one of several predefined categories.